


trust issues

by bleedings



Category: One Direction (Band), but they're not 1d
Genre: "cheating", Angst, Loss of Virginity, Lots of Angst, M/M, Making Out, Minor Violence, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Recreational Drug Use, but no one was really dating, harry and niall are bestfriends, harry has trust issues, liam and zayn are bestfriends, niall is lusting over liam, niall likes liam, things work out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 21:06:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleedings/pseuds/bleedings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry gets caught up with zayn, a not so good guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	trust issues

Harry walked into his house, dropping his backpack onto the small table in his foyer and made his way to the kitchen while pulling his phone from his pocket. he looked down at the screen that was lit up from texts from niall, each of which saying things like "i'm coming over after school," and "gotta make plans for the weekend, mate."

niall and harry didn't go to the same school. they met in primary school and got split after middle, remaining friends through highschool even though they weren't together. everyone knew of the two boys. they weren't known for anything bad or mischievous, they were known for many things. some being: almost everyone who isn't close to the boys think they are in a relationship, (some people who have known them their whole lives even think that) they don't follow anyone, infact, they're usually the ones setting trends. from clothes to slang to music, people wanted to be like them. everyone wants a relationship like harry and niall. they both get along so well, they're accustomed to one another. harry doesn't do anything without niall and niall doesn't do anything without harry. although sometimes harry does want to have a go at niall with his fists. and this is one of those times.

“haz i’m here” harry heard niall shout as he walked through the front door and into the kitchen where he found his friend leaning his back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest.

“hey ni, what’s up?” he could see niall bite on the corner of his bottom lip before he smiled a shit eating grin. harry groaned because he knows niall is about to throw something ridiculous at him.

“so, don’t be mad, but i talked to liam earlier and he told me that zayn wanted you to text him”

absolutely not, harry thought. “Why were you talking to him niall, what the fuck”

“He came up to me, which is odd because he never does.. Shit, do you think he likes me?” niall’s face lit up and harry watched as his eyes widened momentarily before he spoke back up. “But anyways, zayn wants to talk to you”

Harry dislikes zayn a lot. Zayn isn’t a good guy, neither is his bestfriend liam that niall is oh so infatuated with. Zayn, liam, harry and niall all used to go to school together in middle. But when they started high school harry had the honor of being split away from them, niall staying.

When they were in middle school liam and zayn were the two kids you didn’t wanna mess with, there were so many rumors about how they had robbed people, hurt people, and were apart of a drug cartel. It wasn’t that harry was scared of them but more so of the fact that he knew they weren’t good people and he didn’t wanna get caught up with or have anything to do with them. Niall, on the other hand was always curious. His eyes were mainly on liam but he was interested in the both of them, their life styles. He wanted to know if the rumors were true, but harry thinks he mainly wanted to get closer to liam. Harry is very protective of niall, and he knows that the blonde is oblivious to most things, so he tries to keep him as far away from them as possible.

 

“Why in the world would zayn malik want to talk to me?” but he knew why.

A few years prior, he went to a soccer game with niall and zayn sat with him. After the game, zayn texted him and they began to talk. Harry was cautious and careful. He didn’t flirt with zayn, and he didn’t say anything that could have been taken as a form of flirting. But somehow, the olive skinned boy began to like harry. It was always “when can i see you?” “you’re so perfect” “i want to make you mine” and one day it became too overwhelming for harry that he just cut all contact with zayn off. He never texted him again, he didn’t go to niall’s school for games, and he avoided places zayn could be.

See, sometimes when people start liking harry, he panics. He puts up more walls than he already has and he just ignores everyone. He’s got trust issues and some feelings he doesn’t know how to explain. He says he’s afraid of getting too close to someone because he doesn’t want to hurt them, but it’s actually because he doesn’t want them to hurt him. Although he’s a firm believer in everything will be okay, he would rather not take the chance and put himself into a position that could get him hurt.

Niall eventually talked harry into talking to zayn, telling him that nothing bad will happen and that he probably just wants to see how he’s been. So, harry texts him. He says a simple “hi.” He starts to get nervous and niall thinks it’s the funniest thing ever but harry is laying on his bed sending him death glares.

After a few minutes a ping noise comes from harry’s phone that is lying face down on his pillow. Niall jumps up from where he’s sitting on the floor and practically jumps on harry’s back, picking up his phone. Harry snatches the phone from niall and debates quickly to knock him back into the floor but decides not to and takes a look at his screen.

From: zayn malik

“Hey harry, how’re you?”

He makes a face at his phone, already feeling uncomfortable and he takes a look over his shoulder at niall who is laughing and then texts back a reply.

“What’d ya even say?” niall laughed and tugged at the bottom of harry’s long curls. Harry rolled his eyes and sat up, causing niall to fall onto the bed beside him before he sat up , turning sideways to face harry.

“ i said, why’d you have liam tell niall to tell me to text you” the blue eyed boy sighed at harry’s lack of excitement.

“Ni, i don’t have any interest in speaking to hi-” harry was cut off by his phone making a quiet pinging noise.

From: zayn malik

“I’m seeing you tomorrow.”

After hours of harry protesting and trying to make excuses, niall finally talked him into going out.  
Zayn’s plans were to go to the movies, and that’s it. He promised harry no funny business - or business in general - knowing that zayn made him uncomfortable. He agreed under one condition though and that was that niall had to come, and “in that case, i’ll bring liam. Which probably isn’t a problem for niall. ;)” like he said, it wasn’t a problem for niall.

 

~

 

harry rolled onto his side, bumping gently into niall's back before he groaned and sat up, swinging his legs around the bed and got onto his feet. he watched niall stir a little in his sleep and he made his way to the kitchen, putting the kettle on and grabbing one mug. - niall hates tea - once the tea was finished he poured it in the mug, breathing out when he felt the steam come up against his neck and face, making his way out onto the back potio. he sat down on one of the chairs, sipping at his tea lightly. harry enjoyed this, sitting outside early in the morning with a cup of tea. he liked to watch the fog close to the ground slowly fade away and the water droplets fall from leaves. the sun was just up and it was warm and bright, giving off an orange-ish glow that radiated against harry's face. 

 

with his head tilted back and arm lazily resting on his stomach, harry opened his eyes and parted his lips with a small gasp escaping. - even he thought that was a bit dramatic - last nights events flooded his brain as he ran a hand through his tangly curls, tugging at them slightly. 

 

_"ok," he thought "it won't be that bad, niall will be there."_

 

but it  _will_ be that bad because niall is going to focus all of his attention on liam and he really isn't looking forward to that. he knows that may seem selfish, him wanting niall to focus all of his attention on harry instead of someone he's been pining for, for almost six years, but it's understandable,  _justifiable._  and as said before, he isn't scared of zayn. he just knows what he's capable of, and that makes him nervous.

 

but maybe, just maybe, he is scared of zayn. sure, he doesn't know if the things he's heard about him are the complete truth, but who would lie about it? and there you have it, _that,_ is one of harry's many issues. he doesn't think people will lie for no reason because, "people are better than that." 

 

harry has got another thing coming.

 

"c'mon ya cunt, it's okay i promise. i'm gonna be here the whole time." niall grabbed onto harry's wrist and pulled him closer to the movie theater, harry trying to keep his feet flat on the ground.

 

"you know, if i killed myself right now i wouldn't have to go." harry smiled and niall laughed, throwing his head back gently before shaking it and squeezing at harry's wrist. - _their humor -_

finally they approached the ticket stand and stood there, both looking around, waiting for the other two to join them. 

 

harry pulled his phone out, looking at the time. 6:13pm. 

 

classic zayn, always late. he was supposed to be there at six for the movie that starts at 6:30, giving them enough time to buy tickets and get situated. 

 

"he wanted to see me  _so_ bad, but can't even show up on time?" harry rolled his eyes and looked at niall, shaking his head and began to speak again. 

 

"i didn't even want to come, niall. this was a bad idea, he's no good, he's bad news. nothing good is going to come out of this-" 

 

"harry" niall cut him off and put a hand on his arm, pulling at it. 

 

" **no** , niall. i told you we shouldn't have come i-" this time, harry was cut off by niall pushing him roughly on the hip, nodding his head back, trying to make harry look behind the blonde.

 

 _oh, shit._ harry saw two figures. 

 

one was pale, not as pale as niall but not as dark as the one next to him, zayn. zayn had olive skin, jet black hair that wasn't done up in any style, but falling into a middle piece. but it was  _nice,_ harry thought. liam, his hair was pushed back into a short quiff and harry could see the stubble on his face. both of the boys were close in height, not too much taller than harry and niall themselves. 

 

harry quickly looked zayn up and down. he was wearing a black tee with the sleeves rolled and black faded jeans. harry was upset because he couldn't deny that zayn was gorgeous. his slim, long legs, his dark brown eyes, the black ink scattered across his body. he's attractive. 

 

before harry was finished looking at him, they were right in front of him and his now,  _old_ best friend.  he has a vengeance. he looked down, seeing two sets of feet across from him. 

 

_leave now, run, it isn't too late._

_come on, go._

_you can still leave._

 

harry cut his thoughts off and tilted his head up, sucking his bottom lip roughly into his mouth. out of the corner of his eye he could already see niall's cheeks turning red and his eyes were shining as he looked at liam. after a few seconds, zayn spoke up. 

 

"hi."

 

harry could've sworn he felt his knees buckle and his heart skip a beat. all zayn said was _hi_ , but holy fuck. his voice was so deep and smooth and a little raspy, harry wanted to hit himself for thinking all these things about someone he dislikes  _so very_ much.

 

"hey, you're late." he could hear niall snicker quietly, smiling himself as he presses his lips together, pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek.

 

zayn only laughed and nodded, stepping closer to harry. the black haired boy sensed the way harry tensed up, smirking to himself before stepping up to the ticket counter beside harry.

 

"i know, and we both apologize but we had something to do." harry looked between zayn and liam, narrowing his eyes slightly before humming an "mhm" their way.

 

niall was smiling wickedly, stealing glances at liam every four seconds, the poor thing.

 

zayn tilted his head and put his hand on harry's hip, causing the younger lad to step back slightly and look up at zayn as he began to speak.

 

"how about you two go ahead and find seats and we'll stay and get the tickets?" zayn looked at liam and niall, raising his eyebrows.  

 

harry shot a look at niall, shaking his head and widening his eyes. but of course, niall agreed. harry mouthed a  _"fuck you"_ at niall before liam told him to come on and they walked to the theater. 

 

_great._

 

"just so you know, i only agreed to this because my dear friend is fawning over yours." zayn hummed at harry's words as he payed for the tickets to the movie, looking back at him and smiling when he finished. harry looked at his mouth, his white teeth shining between his pink-ish lips. 

 

"i feel flattered." it was harry's turn to smile, a small laugh slipping from his lips, nodding towards zayn.

 

now they were making their way towards the theater, walking side by side. harry looked down at their feet and watched as zayn's feet moved in sync with harry's, trailing his eyes up zayn's long legs. he noticed the cuts in his jeans at the knees, seeing the loose black strings hanging. then he looked up his torso, his chest moving up and down slowly as they walked. finally, he scanned his eyes over the elder's face. zayn had big brown eyes and extremely long eyelashes. his lips were plump and he had stubble on his chin. harry wasn't sure why he was paying so much attention to zayn - to his features, really - but he didn't mind, in a way. zayn was just nice to look at. 

 

when they walked into the theater harry noticed that niall and liam chose the seats in the very back of the room in the corner.  _of fucking course._ there ere two seats saved next to the wall, for zayn and harry. harry wanted to sit beside niall, maybe even in the middle of niall and liam. he knows what happens in the back of theaters and he wasn't very down for that. but zayn sat down, leaving the only open seat the one against the wall. 

 

a bit into the movie, harry slumped into his seat, resting his elbow on the arm rest, leaning his jaw against his hand. he noticed zayn slump down too and he leaned his head towards harry's, keeping his focus on the screen. 

 

"movies kinda boring, eh?" he asked and harry looked over at him, making zayn turn his head as well and harry just now realized how close they were to each other. he nodded. 

 

"kinds, yeah. sci-fi's aren't really my type." he noticed how zayn's eyes brightened slightly at harry's words, but chose to believe that the screen was reflecting off of them. 

 

"me either, i'm more into horror and action movies." harry chuckled at the irony.

 

"i'd say you know a lot about action, hm?" the boys received a few  _"sh's,"_ and harry turned in his seat slightly so he was facing zayn a little bit.  **just** so he'd be close enough for zayn to hear him without disturbing anyone else. 

 

zayn's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed, turning just like harry did and he looked at him intently. harry got nervous because he thought maybe he had angered zayn or offended him, but ,  _really harry, what's he gonna do in a movie theater filled with people?_ he took comfort in that, looking around at how many people were there. at least fifteen, he's okay. 

 

"what makes you say that, babe?"  _babe, ok._ harry felt his stomach swirl and **no.** harry, no. you don't like him, remember?

 

"all the rumors about you, they're pretty intense." zayn's tongue swiped slowly across his teeth, leaning his head back as he let out a quiet, breathy laugh. harry watched as his jaw popped out slightly, his skin looking so smooth stretching across it. 

 

"well, that's what makes them rumors." harry nodded. "i guess you're right." 

 

"aren't you curious though, don't you wanna know if they're real?" the curly haired lad shrugged, nodding a bit as he blinked towards zayn. 

 

"a little, yeah. are they?" 

 

zayn's fingertips gently brushed against harry's arm as he leaned closer to the younger boy. 

 

"i'm not a bad guy, harry. sure, i do things that most people, including you, wouldn't agree with. but i'm a good person, i just do what i have to do. as far as the rumors, if you've heard something about me it's up to you if you believe it or not." zayn sat back in his seat and focused his attention on the screen. 

 

harry sat his hands in his lap and played with his fingers, looking down at them. 

 

maybe he has thought of zayn all wrong. maybe he is a good person and the rumors are just that, rumors. zayn doesn't seem like a bad person and he definitely doesn't look like one. harry can't help but feel attracted to him, and at this point he doesn't mind.

 

a little later in the movie zayn caught harry looking over at him and he smiled with his eyebrows raised, reaching across harry's lap to grab his hand. so the rest of the movie they sat there, their fingers tangled together on harry's thigh.

 

 _this is nice,_ harry thought.  

 

after the movie was over, all four of them went to a diner downtown. zayn sat across from harry in the booth and liam across from niall. throughout the next few hours, zayn and harry held hands on top of the table, one of harry's in between both of zayns and their ankles linked together. they talked about everything and nothing at the same time. 

 

harry learned that zayn enjoyed to paint and draw. he liked to draw interesting looking people he saw on the streets and he liked to paint scenery like sunsets and the ocean and fields of flowers. zayn told him that his favorite colors were cool blues and warm oranges.  zayn said he likes to sleep a lot during the day and he enjoys to be out at night, but that he sleeps whenever he feels like it, really. he told harry that his favorite places to go were the mountains, art museums, and the beach. he liked to watch the sunset from high places, and he liked to feel the sand in between his toes. zayn also told him about how he likes to make music, mainly his own beats but liam had interjected with, "his voice is sick, mate. you need to hear it." in which case zayn promised he's serenade harry one day. harry liked the feeling of zayn touching him. although they've only held hands, he enjoys it. zayn's hands are smooth but rough and he occasionally squeezes harry's hands with his.

 

harry opened up to zayn, which surprised him. he talked more about his feelings than zayn did though. he told him how he had trust issues and had a hard time letting people in, and zayn noted that. but he also told zayn about the sunrises and sunsets at his house on his patio and how he thinks zayn'd like them.  

 

he didn't complain at the end of the night when they went home that zayn kissed him on the corner of his mouth. but he did complain as soon as zayn left, already missing him. the rest of the night consisted of niall going on and on about how much him and liam touched and how he thinks liam likes him too. 

 

yeah, things are going to be okay.

 

over the next few weeks harry and zayn began to hang out a lot more. sometimes with each of their friends tagging along but most of the time not. they both seemed to like each other and  really enjoy the others company. harry could really feel himself falling for the older lad. 

 

during the past weeks of getting to know zayn, he got to witness zayn in different states. some days he'd be so high that his eyes were blood red and he couldn't walk straight. some days he'd be so happy all he wanted to do was paint and draw, most of the time he wanted to draw a certain curly haired, green eyed boy. some days he'd disappear, fall off the face of the earth, and some days he's be so sad that he'd just lay in bed all day, ignoring everyone. 

 

zayn never talked about his feelings to harry though, he'd always dismiss the topic if it was brought up. harry, on the other hand would talk about his feelings all the time. he'd tell zayn how he never opens up to anyone and that zayn is  _lucky._ he felt a bit offended that zayn didn't trust him with his feelings, but zayn said it wasn't harry but that it was him. so harry believed him, because at this point zayn has harry wrapped around his finger. 

 

there would be times when they were out that zayn would put his hands a little too high up on harry's thighs and harry would have to make him stop, telling him he's not ready. he always felt bad because he isn't as experienced as zayn and isn't in a position to give him what he wants, not yet anyways. but zayn always said it was okay and that he wasn't going to make harry do anything he didn't want to do. but harry got nervous that zayn would get tired of waiting and find someone who could give him what harry couldn't, which would ruin harry. he knows they aren't together, but his feelings towards zayn are so strong that it would really hurt him. every time he expresses that to the other boy, he'd tell harry he has nothing to worry about. that he's special, that he's different, and that zayn likes him a lot. 

 

today was a good day for harry. he got to spend some time with niall, which he hasn't done much of since liam and niall have been together 24/7, he got some new  vinyls, and he bought some new mugs. he  _definitely_ didn't get one to keep at his house for zayn, why would you think that? 

it was now nearing midnight and he had just gotten out of the shower, pulling on his sweats when zayn called him. he never called him this late so he started to think something was wrong. 

 

"hello, are ye alright, z?" harry sat on the edge of his bed, feeling water drip from the bottom of his wet curls. he heard zayn breathing, and then heard the faint noise of a lighter being lit. 

 

"yeah, i'm fine. i know it's late but will you come over? i miss you a lot." harry smiled softly, but sighed because he knew zayn would be high off his ass when he arrived. he also remembered that he had a job interview at 10am in the morning, but all zayn had to do was say he missed harry, and he was halfway there. 

 

when harry got to zayn's he had to let himself in, finding is way to the balcony where zayn was sitting, a joint between his fingers. harry put his keys down on one of the little tables, sitting in a seat beside zayn. the seats on the balcony were big and cushioned, like a love seat. they were also faced towards each other so harry was looking directly at zayn. he noticed how zayn's hair was messy on his head, a little greasy, and he only had on some shorts, his chest bare. harry looked at the hundreds of marks of ink on his smooth skin, wanting to reach across and feel them all.

 

"hi, haz." zayn's eyes were heavy and a little red, his body slumped down in his chair and his knees pushed out so they were gently knocking against harry's. 

 

harry smiled softly as zayn extended his hand for harry to grab, and pulled him into his seat once he had his hand. harry was partly on zayn's thigh and partly on the chair, tilting his head to look up at him. 

 

"what's the matter?" zayn put the joint down and wrapped his arm around harry's shoulders, grabbing his thigh gently with his free hand and pulled it across his waist. he shook his head, smiling down at harry.

 

"nothing, just wanted to see you s'all." harry could feel his heart warm at zayn's words, bringing his hand up to cup zayn's face gently, dragging his thumb across his jaw. 

 

they lied there for a few hours, neither of them in the mood to move. they talked every now and again about their day and other random things, but mainly kept quiet and just enjoyed the others presence. harry had his head tilted up against zayn's, his forehead resting against zayn's cheek. zayn had harry's jaw cupped in his head and every few seconds he'd move closer to harry's mouth and that's when he realized that zayn was trying to kiss him. they hadn't kissed yet, because harry wanted to take things slowly, but right now in this moment harry just wants to feel zayn's lips against his own so he looked up and pressed his lips against zayn's. 

 

he felt zayn's grip tighten on his jaw as they began to move their lips together in sync, fingers in hair and on skin. they were both moving their hands around each others bodies, trying to get more of each other. 

 

zayn would bite at harry's bottom lip and suck it into his mouth, earning quiet moans from him. then, zayn started to let his hands wonder below harry's waist. he had his hand on harry's back, dragging it down slowly. his fingertips slipped into the waistband of harry's pants before his entire hand was cupping his ass. he kneaded at it gently and harry parted his lips against zayns, letting out a breath. 

 

"zayn" he didn't say it in any tone, just said it. zayn knew that harry wanted him to quit so he pressed a kiss against harry's lips and slipped his hand completely out, sitting up after moving harry off of him. harry sighed as he watched zayn go back into the house, pushing his hair back with both hands. 

 

it isn't his fault that he's not ready, he's just not. 

 

he went inside the house where he found zayn in the kitchen, his palms gripping the edge of the counter and his head hanging in between his shoulder blades. harry walked up beside him and put his hand on his back, rubbing it softly. he felt awful.

 

"z, i'm sorry, okay? i know you get frustrated with me because i'm not ready but i can't help it and i need you to understand that." zayn sighed, stood up, and grabbed harry's waist. 

 

"it's not you. but it is you. you make it so hard for me to wait because i want you so badly, but i know that you aren't there yet." 

 

harry almost said love.  _almost._

 

 

the next day was hell. harry ended up falling asleep with zayn and he didn't wake up till 9am, giving him one hour to get to his job interview that was across town. he borrowed some clothes from zayn and he barely made it in time. the person who was interviewing him asked if he smoked weed, something about a no tolerance drug policy thing and harry wanted to punch himself for not realizing that he still smelt of dank from zayn's. he also kept yawning because he hadn't got much sleep, and he thinks the interviewer took it the wrong way. safe to say he wasn't getting a job. 

 

then when he got home he saw the mugs he bought the day before broken on the ground, somehow, and the cherry on top of the cake was when niall showed up at his house, without liam, - strange from the start - telling harry that he saw zayn out with a girl. then harry's world came crashing down. 

 

niall described it as "they were sitting at the bar, she had her head on his shoulder and he had his arms around her waist. then they kissed but like a quick peck and then i saw liam walk out of the bathrooms to where they were and when he saw me he tried to come to me but i left." 

 

niall was getting messages from liam nonstop and harry was getting none from zayn. zayn knew that niall would tell harry, so now he's trying to avoid it. harry felt like shit. he wanted to cry and he wanted to hit someone and he wanted to scream because why couldn't he just have stayed away from him at the beginning? he knew nothing good would come out of this and he decided to give zayn a chance anyways. he was about to blame himself but, no. he told zayn how he had trust issues and how he never breaks down his walls for anyone, but he trusted zayn. he broke down those walls for zayn. now what's he gonna do? he's practically in love with this guy and now he's out with someone else. harry tried to not take it personally that zayn was with a female, but he did. maybe zayn wasn't really into guys? maybe harry was just his way of experimenting. maybe zayn doesn't like harry.

 

harry had so many thoughts and he didn't know what to do with them. he wasn't sure if he wanted to see zayn, let alone talk to him about what happened. niall kept going on and on about how he couldn't believe liam wouldn't at least tell niall about it but harry justified it as, "if you were with someone else i wouldn't tell because you're my best friend." which made niall shoot back at him with "i wouldn't be with anyone else." and harry just cried. niall comforted him and stayed with him until he told harry that he told liam he didn't want to speak to him, so harry made him go. 

 

"it isn't his fault, ni. just go talk to him, yeah? tell me how everything goes." they hugged for a long time after that, making harry cry more. he hated that he was being such a baby over this but he likes zayn, enough to where he's almost said love about one million times. he hates to think that zayn actually is with someone else when he's not with him. then, he starts thinking,  _maybe that's what he's doing when he's not with me and when he won't talk to me. he's with someone else._ and it all makes sense. he obviously wouldn't talk to harry while he was with someone else. and sometimes when zayn isn't talking to harry, liam isn't talking to niall. how could he have been so stupid? he should've seen this coming. he's so angry with himself and zayn and the girl, even though he doesn't know the first thing about her. 

 

so, after what seemed like years of thinking of what he should do, he comes up with the best plan he could think of. be bitter. he decided to text zayn some snark comment about what he had heard, and listen to just what the prick had to say for himself. so, he texts him:

 

" _heard ur day was quite_ _eventful hahahahah, thx for wasting my time z, all the fucking love x"_

 

for some reason in his head he thought saying "haha" would make it seem like he didn't care that much. he didn't want zayn to know that he cares. but truth be told, he knows that a tree would know he cares. he cares so much.  _too_ much. 

 

not even thirty minutes later, there was a knock at his door. harry, thinking it would just be niall, told whoever it was to let themselves in. when he heard the door shut he called out, again expecting it to to be niall.

"ni, that bloody prick never even replied to me. knew he wouldn't, probably won't ever own up-"  _shit fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_. standing in the door way of the living room was  _the_ bloody prick himself. 

 

he looked annoyed, mad even. and harry thought  _no, you have no fucking reason to be mad._ he contemplated apologizing for calling him that but only because he heard it, if he would have said it to niall he wouldn't have regretted it. 

 

"what are you doing here?" harry stood up from his spot on the couch and crossed his arms over his chest after wiping his face, hoping there was no evidence of his tears. just seeing zayn after what had happened is making him feel sick. he wants to walk up to zayn and just punch him. 

 

"i'd rather resolve things in person than send a petty text message." his tone was derisive. how  _dare_ he ridicule him. 

"there's nothing to resolve zayn. you obviously weren't happy and decided to move on." harry sounded downright ridiculous and he knew that, but he didn't want to break down into "i love you's" and "i can't believe you's" he just wanted zayn to leave. 

 

"i didn't move on." harry wanted him gone. he wanted to hit him, he was so angry. "you didn't, no? so why the fuck were you with some girl? why were you seen kissing her? why'd you have liam lie to niall to save your ass?" you could tell harry was getting even more mad the more he said, and zayn's chest began rising and falling because he has anger issues and harry is really starting to make him mad, but harry isn't realizing it. "i fucking told you, you prick. i told you that  _this_ is why i don't get close to people. because everyone is like you, you're all no good, bloody twats. fuck you, zayn." at this point harry's voice was at a yell and he had moved closer to zayn in slow steps, still keeping a distance. being still a few feet away from him, he could already smell alcohol, great.

 

"harry, calm the fuck down."

 

_calm._

_the._

_fuck_.

 _down_.

"excuse me? i'd be fucking calm if this hadn't have happened." harry was right up against zayn's chest at this point and he was pressing his finger in between his collar bones roughly, narrowing his eyes. "get out."

 

"harry, really-"

 

"go."

 

 

it had been weeks since harry has spoken to zayn, but he's seen him everywhere. he see's him with that girl. he see's him with many girls. he goes to the mall and he sees zayn there, with different people each time. it completely shatters his heart.

 

the past few weeks without zayn had been torture. he still loves zayn, he was in love with him. but zayn has obviously gotten over harry seeing as how he fucks someone new everyday.

 

liam and niall are okay now. they're officially together and harry is happy for niall, he really is. liam is good for him. niall has tried to get harry to go out with him to meet new people but he always says no, that he's too tired or that he's busy. he never is. but tonight, harry agreed to go out with niall. - and liam -

 

he's not feeling as bad as he usually does on this day, so he decides to make himself look presentable. he pulls on his tightest pair of black skinny jeans, his brown faded boots and a sheer black button up shirt that  he only buttons three times at the bottom, leaving the top of his chest exposed. he doesn't do anything to his hair, letting it hang loosely on his shoulders. when he's finished getting ready he feels  _good_ , and he hasn't felt like that in a while. 

 

soon, harry arrives at the pub where liam and niall are waiting for him. niall hugs him and whispers a "glad you came." in his ear while liam smiles softly and gives him a side hug, patting him gently on the back. pints and shots are immediately ordered and so far so good. harry would watch as niall and liam danced, laughing to himself when niall would do some ridiculous dance move, making liam tip his head back in laughter. he knew they were in love and he was so happy for his best friend, happy that at least one of them got something good out of this. 

 

harry decided to stop watching niall and liam, and get another drink for himself. after he got some more alcohol in his system, he got up and went to the dance floor. he had someone on his arm in seconds, laughing lazily as he'd clumsily fall into them. he caught niall's eye and noticed that he looked worried but harry held up his bottle of beer, smiling before laughing and went back to dancing. he was having a good time but the guy he was dancing with was getting handsy and harry wasn't stopping him because he's proper drunk, now. his thoughts aren't processing and he isn't sure what he's doing but he's having fun. by now the guy's hands are all over harry and he's just letting it happen. but then the guy starts kissing harry's neck and harry looks around, seeing niall looking across the room so he follows his gaze and he sees liam and zayn standing in the corner. he pulls away from the guy, avoiding his protests and walks over to niall. 

 

"look who's here, nialler" harry bursts out into a fit of laughter and giggles, holding onto niall's shoulders so he wouldn't fall. harry isn't in his right mind and he has absolutely no clue what's going on, just that zayn is here and he thinks zayn the prettiest boy who's ever broken his heart. 

 

niall grabbed harry's hips and held him up, looking over at liam as he walked towards them. "babe, is harry okay?" at the sudden mention of his name, he looked up and tried to move away from niall's grip, stumbling against liam. liam grabbed his forearms and looked down at him and then back to niall. "we need to get him home." niall nodded at liam's words and looked up at harry. 

 

"i can drive by myself, don't need you guys" harry stuttered and slurred his words, reaching into his pockets to pull his keys out and turned, stumbling towards the exit. liam and niall followed him, not letting him drive himself home. 

 

liam walked back over to zayn, niall watched them speak for a few seconds before they both walked up to him. "zayn's gonna give us all a ride, seeing as how we've all been drinking and that's not safe, okay?" 

 

"he's sober? yeah that's a first." niall still was bitter towards zayn, he broke his best friends heart. liam laughed at niall quietly but rubbed his waist up and down gently, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. "babe, please. don't wanna risk getting you hurt." niall agreed because well, he's in love.

 

harry has somehow made his way outside and he was sitting in his car, trying to push the key in the ignition when the other three got out there. he heard niall tell him to move, but he didn't. "i can't get the key in, help niallerr." harry was still slurring his words and he looked up, catching zayn's eye, getting out of the car clumsily, grabbing niall by the collar and pulls him close, trying to whisper but failing "is he coming with us? he's so nice to look at." niall rolled his eyes, harry has always been a sloppy drunk. 

 

finally, they all got in the car. liam and niall in the back, harry and zayn in the front. harry  _insisted._ as soon as they left, harry turned around in the passenger seat, looking back at liam and niall. 

 

"do you guys see how pretty he is?" he seemed shocked, like he hasn't ever seen zayn. he presses his finger against zayn's cheek, trying to see if he was real, giggling when he felt his skin. 

 

zayn was trying not to smile, and cry. 

 

when liam and niall got dropped off, niall came to where zayn was sitting and leaned down. "get him home safe and don't you dare hurt him. i swear to god zayn, i'll end you." liam pulled at niall's arm, laughing. 

 

"i'm gonna make sure he's okay, i promise." zayn caught niall's death glare but wasn't offended. he deserved much worse. 

 

on the drive to harry's house, he stared at zayn. he couldn't believe he was real. he counted all of his eyelashes and watched his lips the whole time. when zayn got him home, he decided to help harry get to bed. then he was gonna call a taxi to get himself home. 

 

zayn led harry up to his room, pulling out a tee and sweats for harry, laying them on the bed. he looked at harry, who was laying on the bed on his back, looking up at the ceiling with his hands up in the air. he watched as his jaw would pop out when he turned his head and how his hair would fall away from his forehead when he tilted his head back. he let harry know he had clothes on the bed, turning his head away when harry began changing. he'd look every few seconds and catch glimpses of pale milky skin and smooth soft thighs. all he wanted to do was lay harry down and tell him how sorry he was. so, he did.

 

once harry was dressed, zayn pulled back the duvet and helped harry underneath it, sitting down beside harry. 

 

"haz, i'm so sorry." he knew harry was drunk and couldn't completely understand what he was saying but he said it anyways. "i'm sorry for everything, i didn't mean to hurt you." harry looked over at zayn, smiling softly as he set his hand on his knee. "you were so mean to me, but you're really pretty so it's s'okay zaynie." zayn smiled, not a real smile though. he got up, pressing a kiss to harry's forehead. he put some pain killers beside harry's bed for when he wakes up, sighing softly. harry was asleep before zayn left, looking so pure. zayn thought he looked like an angel.

 

"i love you." zayn whispered before leaving.

 

when harry woke up the next morning he groaned loudly, covering his eyes, trying to shield them from the light coming in through the window.  _fuck_. he was just remembering how drunk he got, but he also remembered zayn bringing him up. he sat up slowly and looked over at the table beside his bed, grabbing the medicine and taking it dry. his heart kind of skipped a beat when he remembered zayn kissing his forehead and telling him how sorry he was. he missed zayn a lot, and last night was his way of trying to get over it but it just made it worse. he made a mental note to tell zayn thank you, later on.

 

harry texted niall, telling him what happened and that he was okay, smiling when he told him how he let zayn have it the night before. afterwards, he texted zayn. he had said "will you come over, please?" he wanted to thank him in person, that's all. zayn replied and said "getting in the car. x" harry felt his heart swell. he decided that before zayn got there he'd take a shower so he didn't reek of alcohol. 

 

he ended up scrubbing his body twice with a vanilla body soap that zayn picked out for him. when harry got out he wrapped a towel around his waist, walking out of the bathroom and into his room where he saw a figure sitting on the bed and jumped, stubbing his toe against the wall. 

 

"fuck, ouch" he cursed and made his way to the bed, noticing it was zayn. a smiling zayn. a smiling, laughing zayn. fucker thought it was funny. 

 

"didn't mean to scare you, m'sorry. are you alright" he looked across the bed at harry, biting his lip to keep from laughing. harry thought he looked beautiful. 

 

"perfect, i'm perfect." - perfect,  _you're_ perfect - 

 

"good." zayn nodded and tilted his head, keeping his eyes on harry. harry looked back at him for a few seconds, noticing the dark circles under his eyes and how his eyelids were a little poofy, then he remembered he was supposed to be thanking zayn. 

 

"oh, thank you, for last night. you know, getting me home and all." zayn nodded again and smiled softly. "anytime, didn't wanna see you get yourself hurt." harry hummed and looked down at his hands that were currently resting in his lap, feeling zayn get up and then feeling the bed beside him dip down. he looked up and saw that zayn was beside him, and he had almost forgotten how nice zayn's lips were. 

 

"look, harry. i'm sorry, okay?" he began, wanting to tell a sober harry. "you didn't deserve what i did to you. i don't know what i was thinking, i guess i wasn't. you were the best thing that ever happened to me and i completely took advantage of that. you made-make me so happy and i regret hurting you, so much." harry's eyes were already watering and he looked down, shrugging one shoulder gently. 

 

"you've been with other people since me." he whispered, feeling zayn take his chin between his thumb and index finger. "no, harry, i haven't. i was just trying to get over you. not once did i sleep with any of them, i didn't even take them home. it's you, its been you, it'll always be you. you're this ball of sunshine and love and life, and you've completely changed me. you've made me see things so much more clearer and you've made me appreciate the little things. i guess i just thought you were too good for me, i mean, you are, but i thought i should just end it so you'd have better. but i don't want to lose you, harry. i want you, so badly." 

 

harry's heart was beating so fast and he was having trouble breathing right so he leaned forward and pressed his lips against zayn's, bringing his hand up to his cheek. harry took zayn's bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it gently before grazing his tongue across zayn's teeth. he had his other hand in zayn's hair and zayn pressed his hand against his chest, gently pushing him back on the bed and hovering over him. harry kept lifting his hips up into zayn's as they kissed deeper and deeper. their teeth would bump against each others and their tongues would touch, driving harry crazy. he felt his dick hardening and he opened his eyes, looking up at zayn. 

 

"i'm ready." zayn asked him about thirty times if he was sure this is what he wanted and harry said yes every time. zayn grabbed the end of the towel around harry's waist, pulling it off. 

 

yeah, they're going to be okay.


End file.
